All I had to do was work hard for 3 years then take a one year break and work semi hard for another 4 years and my whole life would have been set. I would have been done and successful and happy. If I fucked up at either segment that’s it. I fuck up, that was that. My guaranteed future was gone, but only if I fucked this little thing up. And I fucked it up. I’m not sad about it, I just had done it and there’s no reason to pity myself. The only thing which ruins me now is the feeling of dread that everyone around me will rise and ill cast myself off into the shadows: a distant memory of a failure, at best a horror story to warn off the masses from fucking up like I had. This is my peak and it’s an awfully low peak ya know.
yestuday was nice.
I learned some stuff I hope I don’t forget.
I failed some places I wish I’d succeeded.
Most importantly though, yesterday was nice.
back to tumbling yay